Part 1 of the Interviewed by My Characters series
One of my characters just
surprised the hell out of me. I said, outloud, “Really? OMG,
REALLY!?!” My son’s response, “Mom, you do know that you decide what
they say and do, right?” If only he knew the truth. #LedByMyCharacters -June
This status by my friend Melissa has inspired me. My
characters are going to interview me. This should be interesting.
(It already is interesting. They are fighting in my head
right now to get to go first. I think I’m in trouble because Heath just won,
and he’s giving me one of his smiles. Anyone else would be totally relaxed by
that. I know better.)
Heath: Hi J. Good to meet you.
Thanks. Nice to meet
you as well, though I get the feeling I’ve known you forever.
Heath: Thanks for agreeing to this interview.
I’m not sure I had a
Heath: I’ll try not to hurt you. So J… should I call you J?
Not sure what else you
would call me. That is my name.
Heath: Very interesting. I could call you peanut. Or
I’m not your fluffer.
Heath: Are you sure about that? You spend a great deal of
time getting me aroused.
I most certainly do
Heath: I’m pretty sure that you do.
(laughs) You don’t
need me for that. You get hard all on your own.
Heath: True. Well enough about my fantastic manhood. For now
anyway. So why J?
Why J what?
Heath: As a name. Why J? Why not John or Jane or Jocastafin?
Heath: Are you trying to compete with Harry “S”
Yeah, you got me.
One reason I went with
just J is that I like the way it sounds. Another reason is that a true name has
power and should be guarded so that the wicked cannot use it. A name is meant
to be used only once, for it attaches to the soul. So J is the nickname of
which I may be addressed. I will also happily answer to “The Author,”
though that nickname is certainly not mine alone.
Heath: What if people address you as Lenni?
Well Heath, what if
people address you as tall or strong? Anyone who has read my “about
me” introductions on various social media platforms knows that Lenni is
the name of my tribe.
Heath: So, are you single?
Stop hitting on me,
Heath: I’m not hitting on you! Do you wish I was? Stop
avoiding my questions.
I’m happily married.
And no, I do not wish for you to hit on me.
Heath: There’s no such thing as happily married.
You are going to eat
Heath: Is that a fact? I thought you loved me! You wouldn’t
do anything to change me.
Oh but I do love you.
In spite of that, one day you will tell me that I’m evil. You’ll claim that I’m
torturing you. And you will hate me. You will curse me nearly as many times as
you will thank me. In time, you’ll know my choice was right. The things is- the
audience will see it coming. Most will, anyway. But not you. Some will call
this a cliché. They won’t be entirely wrong. The thing about that is that it
has to be one. You and she are where the cliché comes from. Everyone after that
did this- they copied you.
Heath: I think I’m confused. Hey J, how come your profile
pic is just the sunrise? Why am I not looking at your smiling face?
Hmm, a good question.
Have you ever seen proof that a camera is unable to steal a soul?
Heath: Are you aware that the question you just asked sounds
I’m sure it does. You
know what else sounds crazy? That there are invisible beams that happen when
someone takes a picture of your bones! Yeah, radiation from an x-ray sounds
pretty nutty. But you believe in that.
Heath: Yeah, because science proved that.
Indeed. It also proved
that there are germs, but only after it declared that the idea of such a thing
was preposterous. Science was also certain once that everything revolved around
the Earth, and anyone who suggested otherwise was committing blasphemy.
Heath: Is this another of those Native things?
For some reason the
beliefs of all Native Americans are grouped into one great big lump. Amazing
how quickly a European will turn on you if you suggest that the French,
Spanish, and English all have the same beliefs and lifestyles, yet they are
these not the roots of so many who make that same assumption about the tribes
So that’s a yes?
Heath: As a Native American descendent, how do you feel
Immigration is mostly
a funny notion about crossing pretend lines that foreign invaders declared to
exist. Thousands of years saw native tribes from the far south traveling to the
north for a season or so in order to trade. Sometimes the trade was food and
supplies, more often it was knowledge. Funny how modern society can so easily
conceive of vacation but are unwilling to believe that such a concept once
meant an entire tribe might go on one together for an extended period of time.
The last few hundred years have seen that freedom struck down and strangled
with laws which claim that freedom can only be protected if people are not
permitted to relocate with ease in order to embrace other scenes of life and to
give the section of land they normally call home a break so that it can rebound
and prosper once again. Maybe you should ask someone from a southwest tribe
because I have yet to read a story about how it might have been an issue to my
people before the ones from across the big water showed up. The stories that I have
read suggested that we enjoyed others who visited to share knowledge and trade
new things. A pity we didn’t fear blankets. What would the world be like if we
had offered slow poisons to the starving frightened ones who appeared on our
shores so many moons ago? What would
along the east coast?
Heath: That’s a big fence. They would have broken it.
Indeed. And they would
have forgotten how they once broke a fence to get here while they worked on
building another fence to keep our neighbors out.
Heath: Not worried that someone will come along and take
I suppose we weren’t
short on jobs back then. We weren’t short on trust, either. Times change and
most people forget. That is why someone must keep the stories.
Heath: Is the book about immigration?
No Heath. It’s about
The first one seems to
be less about you. But when I look at the series as a whole, I see how none of
it works without you.
I’m special like that.
(laughs) Actually I
think it’s all about a character that doesn’t appear in the first book. She’s
there, but she isn’t mentioned directly.
Heath: You are screwing with my head.
That’s my favorite
Heath: Just for that I’m ending this interview. Go talk to