Jun 23 2012

Part 2 of the Interviewed by My Characters series

Part 2 of the Interviewed by My Characters series

 

(For a full explanation of what’s going on here, please
scroll or use the categories feature to get to the first interview.)

Thank you @Melissa_Foster for the #LedByMyCharacters
inspiration.

 

 

Gwendolyn sits with
her pen poised over a notebook, trying to look professional and business like.
She’s not fooling me. Xavier peeked through the door to wolf whistle at her.
She tugs at her pencil skirt, trying to make it longer, as if the exposure of
her knees is a sin. Poor girl, she still has a long way to go.

 

Wend: Thank you for agreeing to this rare interview. I am
Gwendolyn, and I will be conducting this today. Please call me Wend.

I know who you are.

Wend: How is that possible?

Umm,… God told me.
Yeah. I’m awesome like that.

Wend: Please do not mock the Lord.

I’m not! Why do you
not believe that it’s possible that this is how you came into my head? Not all
plans are obvious. I certainly can’t explain why I know you. Nothing about our
relationship makes sense. As a character, I barely understand you, and that is
very unusual for me!

Wend: Let’s get back on track.

Alright.

Wend: How old are you?

I am old enough to not
have to answer that question, but too young to qualify for the senior discount
card.

Wend: What is your favorite color?

That depends on a
number of factors. At the moment it’s that deep shade of purple that is just a
few notches brighter than the black night sky and has just enough hints of red
to not be mistaken for royal blue.

Wend: How many people are in your family?

Almost enough.

Wend: You are being difficult.

Thank you.

Wend: Are you male or female?

It doesn’t matter.

Wend: What do mean by that?

I mean that it doesn’t
matter! I am a writer. I write stories. Either readers will like them or they
won’t. Either they will discuss the stories with others or they won’t. My
gender has nothing to do with this.

Wend: But many believe that women write better chick-lit
than men; therefore, an author’s gender matters.

There are a great
number of things wrong with that. Your sheltered life has kept you from seeing
the importance of equality, Wend. My mother worked in retail for about two
decades, more than half of which she spent behind the counter of various
automotive parts stores. She knew more about car parts than most of her
co-workers. She could look things up faster, order faster, and ring the
register faster. Yet all too often customers would come in and ask one of the
guys for help instead. The guys often ended up turning to her for help, because
she was the senior employee who had the answers. This is just a personal
example of why I’m opposed to this question. There are plenty of other examples
I could give of jobs we are told that men can not do or women can not do simply
because of gender. There are jobs out there that they say Hispanic people and
Jewish people can’t do. These things shouldn’t matter!

So unless we are going
mate with the purpose of procreation, or unless there is a medical reason, you
do not need to know my gender.

As far as calling
something chick-lit, what is that? Who decided that men shouldn’t be interested
in reading books about women? Why aren’t straight men interested in women? Why
is there only chick-lit? Why isn’t there Jew-lit? Sure, I thought the Diary of
Anne Frank was worthy and notable fiction, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe we
should file that into a little box and say that it really only appeals to a
Jewish audience. And that story Mulan about the cross-dressing girl who saved China from the
Huns? Why don’t stick that into a category as well… hmm, which to file it
under… Asian-lit, cross-dresser lit, or maybe that can be chick-lit too since
the main character is a female.

I’m not saying I have
anything against authors of chick-lit. I’m saying that I have something against
the segregation. I don’t want to fit into a box.

Wend: A box?

Malvina Reynolds sang
it best in her song “Little Boxes” – “Where they are put
in boxes, And they all come out just the same… And they’re all made out of
ticky tacky, And they all look just the same.”

Wend: You are very strange.

Thank you.

Wend: That wasn’t a compliment.

It was to me.

Wend: Alright, let us move on. What is something you want to
learn this year?

There are a great many
things I want to learn! I believe my favorite thing to learn would be something
unplanned and random that just sneaks up on you. For example, after two decades
of water always boiling over on the stove, I one day learned that adding a few
drops of oil to the water will often prevent that. Totally random and
unplanned, but there it is. I love moments like that. I recall in eleventh
grade English class our teacher was going on about whatever lesson, and in the
midst of the class discussion he used the word sacrilegious. The entire class
was at attention suddenly because there was a new word, one that sounded like
other words we knew, but which none of us had heard before. It came out of
nowhere. There was a spark of learning that day, a moment when thirty or so
students all at once eagerly awaited this new vocabulary- the very same
students who groaned every Friday when an actual vocabulary test was handed
out.

Wend: Was there a time that you didn’t like me?

Wend, I am still
working on getting to the time that I do like you. There are moments here and
there that lead me to think I will eventually, but mostly at the moment you
annoy me. We’ll work on that.

Wend: Wow. Don’t hold back on account of my feelings.

What are you going to
do, sick Xavier on me?

Wend: Yes.

That figures.

1 comment

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