Jun 12 2013

Feedback on me PART 4

Me.

 

What would you like to know? What do you need to know?

Alright, how about the answers I gave to some unusual
questions:

 

If I didn’t know how old was and thereby had to guess my
age, I would put myself either in my mid twenties or my late forties. It is
worse to not try than to fail. I do things that I don’t like sometimes because
they have to get done to maintain order- such as cooking, cleaning, and sitting
in traffic. There are things that I would like to do which I do not because I
weigh the risk of pleasure against the odds of death, and have finally reached
the point in my life where I opt for the possibility of living more years
instead of living only for this moment. When it’s all said and done, I am not
sure if I will have said more than I have done, but I certainly will have
written more than either! If I knew I would die in seven years, I would spend
more time writing. I am not sure if I would want to have a child. Okay, yes, I
would want to, so long as I knew my spouse was not going to die before, with,
or shortly after me. I worry more about doing things right than I do about
doing the right things. I have only had minor control over the course of
direction that my life has taken. If I could offer only one piece of advice to
a newborn child, it would be to survive. I would break the law to save a loved
one. Yes, I am holding on to something which I should let go of. I rarely push
the elevator button more than once. The exception is if the buttons for other
floors light up, but my pushed one has not lit. (I actually get a bit freaked
out by that.) I hate glass elevators, but love views from great heights. I
would rather be a worried genius than a joyful simpleton. I am me because no
one else got stuck, or blessed, with the job. I have not always been the kind
of friend that I want as a friend, because I would want a friend who is better
at staying in touch. If I had to pick between the loss of all of my old
memories or never being able to make new ones (that’s a painful and scary
choice), I would go with not making new ones. I guess I cling too much to the
past. What I once thought of as my greatest fear has not come true, but what
did come true turned out to be far worse. Yes, there is something that really
upset me ten years ago that still matters and still hurts. It is more painful
to lose touch with a good friend that lives near you than to have a good friend
move away- I speak with much experience on this. I feel the most passionate and
alive when I am writing so fast that my computer screen fails to keep up. What
I have to lose in the big dream that I have yet to achieve is my sense of
purpose and drive to go on. No, I would not quit writing if I won a million or
a billion dollars. If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would want to
spend today with my family. I would only be willing to reduce my life expectancy
by ten years in exchange for great fame if I knew for sure that I would get at
least another thirty years before my death. The difference between being alive
and living is found in love, happiness, and passion. If I learn from my
mistakes, I am afraid to make a mistake because there are some things which can
not be taken back or forgotten about. I am not sure what I would do differently
if I knew people would not judge me on it, because I largely don’t care for the
judgments of others. (My own judgments on the other hand…) No, in five years
from now I will probably not recall what I did yesterday or the day before
(unless I check my journal). This is because my life as of late has been more
of an accumulation than individual events. (Rome wasn’t built in a day, but each day of
building mattered in the grand scheme.)

 



Author for a dollar image

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