Dreadfully nervous, it’s true, I had been and still am. But
will you say that I am a mad tweeter?
My abilities to read, tweet, retweet, and favorite were far
above all other tweeters. I tweeted all topics on earth!
I retweeted many topics that were pure hell. How, then, am I
mad? Observe how calmly I tweet you this story.
It is impossible to say how this egg first entered my realm.
Did he follow me, or did I follow him?
It haunted me day and night. Profile image- there was none! Passion
or favorites among our tweets there was none.
I loved the young egg. He had never failed to retweet me
when asked. He had never mocked my offerings.
For his number of followers I had no desire. I held no anger
when he was retweeted and I not.
I think it was his egg! Yes, it was this! The egg of a
default user- a bright white egg, with solid color around it.
Whenever the egg appeared on the home page of tweets, my
blood ran cold; and so – very gradually-
I made up my mind to convince the user to select a profile
photo, and thus rid myself of the egg forever.
This is the point where you believe I was mad. Mad tweeters
know nothing. You should have read my tweets.
You should have read as I wisely proceeded. Caution,
foresight, and dissimulation- all in 140 characters or less!
I was never kinder to the egg than the week before I tried
to convince him to upload a profile photo.
Every night, about midnight Eastern time, I trolled the
tweets on his wall. Scrolling oh so gently.
And then, when I had read enough tweets to fill my head, I
closed my browser. No tweets could be read!
Then I reopened the browser- straight to his twitter page!
You would have laughed at it as my browser homepage.
Slowly, very, very slowly, so as not to be listed on his notifications
tab without gaps between them, I favorited.
It took me an hour to place favorites within all his tweets
of that day. Ha! Would a man tweeter have done this?
There is more to come! Join me live by following @JLenniDorner on Twitter.