I clicked on the times and dates of the most treasured
tweets, pasting them direct links to the ones I still favorited.
In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I suggested that we sit
and watch the feed together, scrolling along happily.
The new followers were satisfied. My manner convinced them.
I was an easy tweeter. We chatted and retweeted each other.
But, ere long, my fingers grew tired and wished them gone.
My butt ached in the chair, and I my eyes did tricks.
But still they chatter and tweeted. The tricks of my eyes
became more distinct: – It continued and became blurrier.
I tweeted more freely to force my eyes to adjust, but it
continued and gained – until I found that it was not my eyes.
No doubt I now typed very slow;- but I tweeted more fluent
hashtags, and with abbreviated words. LOL!
It was a low, dull, blur- much such a vision as when rheum
cakes the tear duct. I tweeted that seeing was hard.
Yet the three new followers were not afflicted. I tweeted
more quickly- more vehemently; but the blur worsened.
I argued with tweeters of trending hashtags, in CAPITAL
LETTERS and with #violent #overuse #of #the #hashtag
But the blur steadily increased. Why would the new followers
not leave my feed in peace? I paced the home feed.
I retweeted heavily, as if in a fury to hide my own tweets
from observation of these three new followers.
What could I do? I retweeted, I favorited, I #TRIED #TO
#FORCE #A #TREND #USING #CAPS #AND #TAGS
I stood from chair upon which I had been sitting. Blood rushed
to my legs. But the blur in my eyes increased.
It grew worse- worse- worse! And still the other followers
tweeted pleasantly, and emoted with
Was it possible they could not see beyond the blur? No, no!
They saw!- they suspected! – they knew!
They were tweeting a mockery of my horror! – this I thought,
and this I think. But any tweet was better than this.
Anything was more tolerable than this blur! I could bear
those hypocritical no longer! I must use CAPS OR DIE!
And now – again!- #HARK!- blurrier! blurrier! blurrier!
“#VILLAINS!” I tweeted “dissemble no more! I
admit the deed! Look here! It is the default egg- as my own image!”
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