Dec 21 2016

#WEPFF #FlashFiction Short Story of a Utopian Dream turned Dystopian Nightmare

Utopian Dream challenge image

A Bigly Wish of Will

By: J Lenni Dorner

William turned off his computer. He strolled to the balcony door to shut and lock it, but paused to look up at the night sky. “That’s what I want,” he said to the first star he spotted. “Star of light, oh star so bright, please grant the wish I make tonight! I long for the great idea talked about in that video to happen. I want to experience the dream discussed.”

Will shut his eyes and wished extra hard. He realized that it was a daft way for a grown man to behave, but it might also be considered positive thinking.

The morning came with thunderous boom. Will checked that his wife was all right, then his children, and last his mama. They had all been awoken by the sound, but none were the cause. William headed downstairs. His dog was at the back door, barking up a storm, but was not the cause of the boom.

It was his front door, which was on the floor.

Several human-like beings sauntered in. Will stared at their bio-luminescent skin, which lit up his walls in hues of green, blue, and pink. They walked around in his house, nodding in agreement with each other, generally seeming pleased. He followed two of the pink ones to his kitchen. They sniffed the fruit in the basket on the counter.

His coffee maker clicked on. The pink ones hissed and yelped in a high pitched language Will did not know. Will’s dog threw himself at the back door in a seeming attempt to knock it down.

“What’s going on down there?” Will’s wife called from upstairs. She then screamed. The sound turned to a gurgle and then stopped.

One of the glowing blue men pointed something at Will. He made high pitched sounds and gestured with his arms. When Will gave no response, the blue one motioned to two of the green ones, who grabbed Will and carried him to the back door.

More high pitched noises were made. The dog had never looked so fierce as he beat his paws against the sliding glass door. It had cracked in several places. Will wasn’t sure if he hoped the dog would get in and attack the intruders or if he hoped his dog would run to get help. Another blue one walked from his neighbor’s yard, stepped through the shared vegetable garden, and pointed something at the dog. There was a gurgling sound. Then there was no more dog.

Will’s legs went out from under him. It wasn’t just seeing that happen to his dog. He realized that same sound had just come from his wife.

These glowing beings were upstairs.

His children!

His mama!

Will fought against the green ones that held him. He fought to get to his family.

Gurgling sounds were all around him. His neighbors were being taken out. He didn’t know if he could help them.


Time went by. Months, maybe years. Will lived in the battered remains of the doghouse. He was a slave to the glowing ones. He came to understand some of their gestures and sounds. They had conquered his town. Based on the maps, they intended to conquer much more. Every time a resistance came to fight them, the gurgling sound repeated.

Will saw his daughter from time to time. She belonged to the blue ones that lived down the street. Every time their eyes met, he wished he could kill her. There was no getting around it. Will’s daughter had suffered beyond the point from which a mind could recover. His mama had died, probably from a heart attack. Will saw some of her all the time. The glowing ones decorated with parts of her corpse. It made him sick. Will’s son, … that fate was unknown. He wished on stars every clear night that his son had gotten away and was safe. Will knew this was a daft wish, but it was the only positive thinking he had left.


When Will was a very old man, the glowing beings made him an offer. He could continue to live in the dog house and be a slave, or he could live in the pantry and have a cooking job. The job did not pay much. For the privilege of the job, remaining alive, and the accommodations in the pantry, Will had to give half of his pay back to the blue glowing beings. They assured him that this was for the best, and that all the green and pink beings also gave this amount. It was to thank the blue ones for being rulers. They had to live in the best accommodations and do the least amount of manual labor, and that required funding. The blue ones also had to be thanked for not using the gurgle weapons on them.

The pantry, Will’s new living quarters, was stocked by his neighbor’s descendants, Mary and Balroo117. There wasn’t much that the garden grew anymore since the beings had done terrible things to the land. Balroo117 wanted to take the deal to be an employee. He was half green and could fit in a little. But Mary said she’d sooner be a slave than give a tribute of her earnings. It was hard to understand her reasoning. The beings decided her logic was based on the intention of one day rising up. Even though Mary was weaponless, near blind, and only had one working leg, they decided she was a threat. The beings took another quarter of the pay from all humans. They used it to build a wall three thousand feet high in Will’s yard.

The wall didn’t intersect the street, or the yards behind the houses. It crushed the garden. The blue beings marveled at the magnificent wall.

Will looked to the stars. “I wish I had been more specific about which side of the experience I wanted. This is a dystopian nightmare, not a utopian dream.”

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Word Count: 993 FCA

Sharing this song because it’s the song that most reminds me of a Utopian Dream.

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  1. A dream that becomes a horror when it becomes a reality. Very well written and engaging. The poor man. He probably will never want to dream again.
    Have a Merry Christmas and beautiful walk over into the new year.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia
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  2. A dark, hopeless story, a true nightmare. Will should’ve read more fantasy. Many fantasy novels stress the fact that you have to be very specific in defining your wishes.

  3. Now there’s a wish the receiver is paying a high price for, deep lessons there!

    Thanks for participating in the WEP Utopian Dream Challenge!

    Wishing you a joy filled holiday and a prosperous New Year!
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  4. Be careful what you wish for is rarely illustrated so well.
    I am glad that I didn’t read this after dark. And hope that no-one’s tummy gurgles in the next little while…

  5. This is a very disturbing account of an utopian nightmare! Well told. Poor Will and his family. Those blue people could be a lot of our fears come to reality.

    Thanks for posting this for the final WEP of the year. It’s been great having you this year and I hope you will find the time to join us again!

    Merry Christmas! Happy New Year to you!

    Denise 🙂
    Denise Covey has this post to share #WEPff entry–flash fiction for Utopian Dreams–Venice’s Black CapeMy Profile
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  6. Be careful what you wish for, eh? A 3000′ wall would probably plunge Will’s house and yard into eternal darkness. Kind of like his life had been thrown into darkness.

    This kind of reminds me of a short story (I forget the title) – something about a monkey’s claw that would grant wishes…but at a terrible price.
    LuAnn Braley has this post to share My 2017 Book Blog Discussion Challenge Sign-UpMy Profile
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    • desk49 on December 22, 2016 at 3:53 PM

    yes quite a story
    I truly read it twise

  7. Hmmm…I half expected him to wake from a dream and discover that nothing had changed. I predict an uprising that gurgles the aliens away.

  8. Very powerful allegory of the times! Thanks for the great read.

    • Pat Hatt on December 23, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    Can truly see that what you wish for isn’t always what you thought it would be.

  9. An interesting viewpoint, if a lot creepy. I like to think we will discover other cultures, some of which may be warlike or eerily similar to some humans. . .but we could also discover benevolent beings who view humanity as a worthwhile species to invest some ‘lifting up’, say to another intelligence level. It’s all the petty little wars we humans like to keep going that makes us look like a wasted experiment. This was a great interpretation of utopia gone dystopian. Enjoyed reading this!

  10. Shudder. Shudder. Shudder. No more wishing on stars for me. Thanks for the warning.

    Here’s to a beautiful Christmas, no glowing beings and a dollop of joy!
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    • Guilie on December 23, 2016 at 5:15 PM

    What a horrific idea… All the more horrible because we’ve proved ourselves perfectly capable of making this a reality, no extraterrestrial help needed. When will we learn?

    Great take on the prompt, Jenni 🙂
    Guilie @ Quiet Laughter
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  11. Be careful what you wish for, is the first thought I had when I finished reading,, as I see many others did too. It was a nightmare come true and so far from his original wish and yet so close. But, then isn’t that the way it always works out, the dream and the nightmare are in reality very similar with just a few little twists. Well done.

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